What if I slept a little more and forgot about all this nonsense.– Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis (via rosettes)
Teacher: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."
Some people think that it’s easy being a kid. But, in a lot of ways, it’s harder...– Xena (via kirie-kairos)
Xena: "All right, the rules of survival: #1. If you can run, run. #2. If you can't run, surrender, then run. #3. If you're outnumbered, let them fight each other while you run. #4..."
Gabrielle: "Wait...more running?"
Xena: "No, four is where you talk your way out of it, and I know you can do that."
boomwizard: When I say JOXER, you say THE...
My life story:
Me: I'm a lesbian
Everyone: Omg how do two girls have sex?! Is it good? How do you lose your virginity? Is that even sex? How many girls have you slept with? Are you sure it's not just a stage? Have you ever TRIED having sex with a guy? How do you know that you don't like it? Do you want to be a boy? Are you sure? You don't look like a lesbian. Who's the guy in the relationship? You're going to Hell. God doesn't like gay people.